Originally I wanted to write about boundaries but what kept coming to me was TIME…Time is a precious commodity; a man-made ‘thing’ which is viewed/experienced very differently by each individual based on their circumstances and their beliefs.
To the mom awaiting the results of her child’s surgery its seconds ticking away are deafening. Time is almost never ending to the person working out, exhausting their muscles with ‘just one more rep’, one more set’. To the couple on their first date its hands flying around the dial as their night goes by in a blink. Each engaged in each others eyes and nothing else. Yet a table away the married couple who have lost their connection out on a date. Each moment another dull thud as they go through the motions both unhappy and wanting something more yet too afraid to say anything. To the parent anxiously awaiting that cry of their newborn baby as they take the first breath from the womb time stands still. To the child in hospice with a tear falling down their face as they whisper their last I love you to their parent they wish they had more time. To the athlete who has practiced thousands of hours the tenth of a second that separates them from winning the gold, time is on their side. To the injured hiker that hears every sound and also every deafening moment as they await help that might never come time moves like a sloth. To the baker making their last batch of the day in the oven as the smells of their kitchen dance around. The countdown of the timer ticking and reminding them it’s soon to be home time. This list could go on and on as we can all think of the many different ways time has affected us. The different emotions that it can extract from us. Unfortunately what happens for most is time is squandered away. We as humans find excuses to “waste” time. Saying we’ll get to that tomorrow or next week or next year, another day. Yet tomorrow or next week are not guaranteed to us. Be it fear that’s stopping us from making the choices to do the act now, we still decide to put it on hold. There’s nothing wrong with this as long as we realize that just because we’ve put it on hold doesn’t mean there will be an opportunity to make the choice again. It can possibly leave us with an unfinished task to do next week or next year but as long as this isn’t weighing on us and we aren’t beating ourselves up for not doing it then its okay. Our troubles begin when we regret our choices to “do nothing” yet we can’t go back and change them.
We don’t actually have any control over whether tomorrow will come or not. Not a single one of us knows exactly how much time we’re gifted in this lifetime. It might be 5 years, 25 years, 50 years, 75 years, or 100 years. That is the cruel yet fair gift of life.
We’re read articles and books from the dying about their comments and wishes on their deathbed and what they would do if they had more time. For some people suffering with an illness they have been giving a rough idea of how many “days” left they have (and sometimes these guesses aren’t even accurate as people outlive their prognosis). They speak of how they make different choices with their time based on this ‘knowing how long they have’. They change their belief on life and begin to make choices to live each day as a gift. We’ve listened to songs expressing how we should live like we are dying. The crazy part about that is that we are all dying – we just don’t know when. But it begs the question…are we all truly living? Are we using the gift of each breath and the time we do have? This seems like a rhetorical question or one that is used so much it has gone ‘stale’ or has become so cliché we don’t even feel the need to answer it. Yet I sit here asking it to myself, wondering just what am I doing with my gift of time. Am I filling it with mundane tasks that ‘I’ll get to next week’? Or am I choosing things that fuel my heart and make me grateful for the moments I do have as the hands tick tock away each day. The question ‘what do I want to be when I grow up’…is it answered or still evolving as I learn and grow?
Originally as I mentioned at the beginning of this blog I wanted to write about boundaries as the topic for this post. Yet the word TIME just kept budding in front asking to be heard.
I’ve watched show after show on the universe and space and time. How man has created time to measure events, to keep track of the past and present. Time according to Albert Einstein is relative and flexible. “The dividing line between past, present and future is an illusion”. So if it’s an illusion then why are we all so caught up in being so busy ‘we don’t have time’ to do the things that matter? I believe one of the things that supports this statement is because we’ve forgotten how to breathe, how to connect to source, we’ve forgotten what is important. We’ve grown so fast as a society with technology and the idea of being bigger, better, faster that we’ve lost a lot and are holding our breath not wanting to miss out on anything and sometimes doing absolutely nothing. We’ve found all these external factors to measure against and if we aren’t busy chasing something/living up to someone else’s expectations then we aren’t ‘enough’. Sadly it’s become our tails that we’re chasing. If we can stop and pause for a moment we could stand in front of the mirror and ask ourselves what are we doing with the gift of time? Are we being true to our heart? Are we breathing and connecting with source and our higher self. Are we happy? Are we just going through the motions trying to get to the end of another day? The questions are there and if we’re willing to just stop and breathe, time starts to slow down as we answer them. Each day we’re on this planet we have 86,000 seconds and each second a precious gift. I used to begin each day with an intention for these 86,000 seconds. That they be spent in service however that was supposed to be. That I’d use my gifts to love and be a conduit for others in whatever way was necessary. I’m still using that intention. However I have spent the last few years learning how to apply boundaries to it. This has been a tough lesson but I’m grateful to have walked it in the way that I did. As I write this I now know why boundaries and time were softly battling for the blog post this week. They are intertwined like many of the other threads that make up our quilt of life. For me they have been intertwined for the last few years with an awareness of each and the dance they were making. I’ve finally healed some of the wounds that I uncovered and am building that boundary muscle while still being true to my intention to be of service.
So on the eve of St Valentine’s Day; and a few days after experiencing the Full Moon in Leo (with an eclipse last Friday), I sign off with love. Content in the waters of the ocean. Drifting along, knowing that time for me is equal to breath and that with each breath comes new opportunities. The choices I make with those opportunities are a gift. When the waves surge and swell, I come back to breath and allow that flow to take over. Watching as things settle and most times slow down, another second ticking away. I trust that you found some nugget within this post. It was a definite dance of boundaries and time for me writing this week. As always, sending you love and aloha, xxoo Jodi