Well, the week has come where I wasn’t called to write about a specific topic. If I was a writer one might call it a writer's block. However, for me it was just silence. I’m okay with this as it reflects the space that I’ve been in for the past week. I’ve felt the need to “shut down and not think”. Dancing in the flames, always open to shifting and evolving, learning and growing I quietly found refuge in stillness. I found myself wanting to retreat from it all for no reason and allowed that to be enough. I had no inspirational ideas come to me for the blog. What was beautiful about that was I just let it be. No topic meant there was no agenda, yet it didn’t mean that there wasn’t a message to share. So I’ll take a moment to write about how it was OK for me to just be and not have an agenda. That I would allow the week to unfold and make choices to do the things that filled my soul but that didn’t “advance” the agenda. The beauty in that I believe is that I “advanced” in so many other ways that weren’t necessarily on the ‘agenda’. Many times we need to just sit and allow the work we have done to weave itself into us.
During the week I pulled from my Angel, Tarot and Oracle card decks. I wasn’t surprised when twice I pulled the hermit card. It validated where I was at and I embraced my shutting down and not thinking.
To explain further, in the past I was someone who felt like quiet time was wasted time. That I needed to be accomplishing something always – always striking an item from the list, checking a box. This past couple of years I’ve learned that quiet time is just as important as ‘busy’ time. That as with everything there needs to be a balance. Writing the blog is something new and allowing this ‘balance’ to happen with quietness was a great lesson. As I write it I’m calm and not asking the questions that I would have asked in the past. I accept it for what it is and that I gave myself the time I needed to subconsciously process what was going on for me.
Venus is now in retrograde. I jump to astrology as it’s something that intrigues me and taking a moment to look to the stars for some guidance always calls to my soul. Many hear the word retrograde and think horror and doom. For me it’s not that at all. In every retrograde there’s a gift to go back through some of the lessons you’ve learned and to assess where you’re at now and see if things are different. Did you see the lesson? Were you aware of the choices you made and how they affected you? Do you feel like you’re on a wheel going nowhere? Are you happy? These are just a few of the questions that come and as I write this perhaps my week of “no thinking” was in preparation for the next 40 days. Next week is my birthday and I get reflective every year at this time. I find the gratitude for the friends and family that I have and that I keep in touch with. All the small joyful moments that can often go overlooked. For my health as the clock ticks and I age. For the opportunities and lessons that the previous year afforded me. As I type now I realize that I’ve begun the processing to make space for the old to leave and the new to come. That in my quiet time I’ve shifted the things that needed shifting and I’m ready for “what’s next”. Understanding that the “what’s next” will reveal itself when the timing is right.
I’ll end here, knowing that I’ve shared what I could. That the boat navigating on the ocean waves of life plodded along another week and withstood the elements. With big waves crashing, but none big enough to overturn the boat and enough sunshine to keep smiles on my face and in my heart. I decided to use a photo from when I was 17 months old. I’m so grateful for my love of water and trees and connection to the earth. This photo always makes me smile as it depicts that for me. I wanted to find a photo that spoke to the feeling of just “being” and this one does just that for me. Happy baby in her diaper feet bare and connecting to the earth. Thanks for being alongside me this week. Sending much love and aloha your way. If you’re going through some tough times I wish for you the gift of “you” time. That you give it to yourself without any judgement or justification of the ‘why’. That you find peace within that space and allow yourself to heal or find answers to the questions you have been asking. Always love. Jodi xxoo